


Ring of Fire

by mzsnaz, Sarek and Amanda Archive Maintainer (Selek)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 10:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzsnaz/pseuds/mzsnaz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selek/pseuds/Sarek%20and%20Amanda%20Archive%20Maintainer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amanda has received a gift from Sarek, but is puzzled by the timing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ring of Fire

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story was inspired during one of our group discussions several months ago. :)

Title:  Ring of Fire  
Author:  mzsnaz  
Series:  TOS  
Characters:  Amanda, Sarek  
Rated:  PG  
Summary:  Amanda has received a gift from Sarek, but is puzzled by the timing.

  
Disclaimer:  Paramount and Viacom own Star Trek.  No profit is made by this work of fiction.

 

A/N:  This story was inspired during one of our group discussions several months ago.  :)  
  
  
\-----  
  
Personal journal entry - Stardate 2231.3  
ShiKahr   
  
Sarek gave me a present today.  I know that I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.  Gifts have little significance for Vulcans except when they are given at certain moments in one's life.  Unlike humans, there are no set dates for such occasions.  I've not heard of a Vulcan receiving a birthday or anniversary present, but I have seen gifts given after a personal goal is reached or in honor of an impressive accomplishment.  
    
That's what has puzzled me – what have I achieved?  What have I accomplished that has caught Sarek's attention in such a way that he has deemed it worthy of recognition?  It's true that I've undertaken something that has proven to be monumental in scope – perhaps that's what the gift is for.  But why should I receive something today of all days?  
  
Our child is still a month away from his expected due date, and I'm still in awe of the medical advances that have allowed me to carry our son to full term.  It's been a day by day battle that has consumed every moment of my life.  Some days are easier than others.  Today has been a good day.  Am I being rewarded for not complaining to the healers that I feel more like a beached whale than a pregnant woman?  Perhaps I've been obsessive to a fault during this year, but I want nothing to interfere with our son's progress and arrival.  If the healers want me to remain in bed, I shall do so, despite the stir crazy feelings that have plagued me for months.  If the healers had asked me to stand on my head for thirteen months, I would have found a way to do it.  Nothing is going to jeopardize our child's life.  
  
This brings me back to Sarek's gift.  I open the simple black box and remove the fragile metal ring from the soft velvet liner.  The intricate floral design that encircled it immediately caught my eye when I first saw it.  I can tell that it's a custom item, and Sarek confirmed that he had it commissioned for me.  I'm so touched by his thoughtfulness.  An uncomfortable moment came when I tried to slip it on my ring finger.  Due to the pregnancy, I have not been able to wear any of my rings because of the swelling, and I assumed that my husband would have sized it to fit me at this time.  He did not.  I asked if I could wear it on my pinky, but he said not to.  In fact, he said that it was not his intention that I wear it at this time – that the ring was for a time after his – our – son's birth.  Why?  He wouldn't say.  
  
The ring is made of a dark metal that is reminiscent of the desert sands late in the evening when the shadows lengthen and hide in the deep crevasses.  I know it's Vulcan metal, and that is something quite surprising, too.  Sarek has given me three pieces of jewelry since we met, and all of them were of Terran make and design.  Each piece is precious to me because of the giver, but again the mystery of this new piece intrigues me.  Why a Vulcan piece now?  I've been on Vulcan for nearly three years.  Why at this time?  Why today?  
  
Perhaps that's why the ring was given to me.  I've been bored silly reading the same books and watching the same holovids.  Even my most undemanding research projects have suffered because I become restless and can't concentrate.  Now, I have something to mull over – a mystery all my own.  
  
The elaborate detail on the ring is absolutely amazing.  I believe that if I were able to examine it under a magnifier, every tiny leaf and stem would be perfect.  Again – perhaps there's a clue in the fact that the flowers are roses – my favorite.  Does the ring signify love?  That's a nice thought, but I don't think so.  The exchange of wedding rings isn't practiced on Vulcan, and I wasn't bold enough to ask Sarek for a ring even when we were on Earth.  Now, a little less than three years later, I consider it a lost opportunity.  He would have given me a ring if I'd asked.  Asking now would just be gauche.   
  
I keep thinking back to those people on Earth who would remind me that 'only fools rush in'.  If I heard one more person say that I was naïve, I would have screamed.  But they were right – I was naïve – but I wouldn't change a thing.  There were so many people in my life that would have been happy to see me fall on my face and make a complete mess of things, but I didn't do that.  Instead, I'm happily married and about to have a baby.  What more could I want?  What more is there?  
  
I'm back to square one.  Why did Sarek give me a ring?  I didn't ask for it, although he knows I'm fond of jewelry.  He said it was commissioned, so it wasn't an impulsive purchase – not that Sarek is prone to do that in any case.  He's methodical when it comes to most anything, so this question of why shouldn't be hard to figure out.  
  
Sarek should be home soon, and I know what will happen – I'll ask about the ring's meaning, and he'll tell me that it should be clear.  I'll argue that it's as clear as mud, and he'll say that further contemplation will offer clarification.  It's these little games that are sweetly aggravating, and I know I'll play until the answer is given.  
  
Staring at the ring offers no further enlightenment, and I place it back on the black velvet.  The flicker of light from the corner fire pot catches the metallic finish.  Closing my eyes, I focus on that light in a meditative exercise in search of some insight that I'm missing.  Gifts are given – gifts for achievements – given for special reasons.  The light – light that shines like Eridani, high above us – a fiery orb that blasts the planet and saps the inhabitants of moisture and strength.  The ring – forged by a skilled artisan instructed to design the delicate piece from the molten metal.  Why a ring?  I know the simple answer would be that the ring symbolizes a never-ending love, but that's too trite, and Sarek isn't trite.  Vulcan metal – Terran design.  I cling to that thought and expound on it.  The ring is formed of the most common element on Vulcan – a copper based metal used for the majority of products that require a metallic base.  The design is one that Sarek knows I would appreciate.  So.  
  
Vulcan interior – Terran exterior.  Is that it?  Is he trying to tell me that I've reached some level of control that he wants to recognize?  I doubt it.  My meager understanding of the Vulcan disciplines will probably never get past the point of basic comprehension.  A healer has entered the room – I'll return to this entry soon.  
  
Journal entry resumed  
  
All is well.  The baby kicked during the examination, and I nearly came off the bed due to the shock.  He's been a very active baby through most of the pregnancy, but things are pretty snug in there now – it's rare for him to kick in such a manner.  The healer noted that I had some internal uterine bruising that indicates the abuse our son has inflicted on my poor insides.  No problem – I forgive him.  I honestly can't wait until labor starts.  No doubt I'll change my mind when it actually happens!  Everything seems to revolve around the pregnancy.  Everything.  
  
And now – now – I think I have a theory to explain the ring.  A quick check and it's confirmed – exactly one year ago today Sarek and I stood on the ancestral grounds surrounded by Family.  The Koon-ut-kal-if-fee – the time of mating or challenge.  At the time I couldn't really think about the possible implications.  I only knew one thing – Sarek's life was in danger, and I was the only one who could save him.  It's strange to me how the Vulcans have let shame and secrecy overshadow what should be viewed as a medical condition.  I was fortunate to have someone explain it to me in a manner that made sense – pon farr is an illness with a cure, even if the cure is somewhat outrageous.  There is no reason to fear it, and there's certainly no reason to be embarrassed.  It's just a biological fact that can't be changed.  I knew Sarek was suffering from the moment I stepped forward amidst the tinkling bells.  He looked wretched, and I could sense the disturbing images of fire and death that plagued his thoughts.  He believed he was going to die – illogical, of course, but one in the grip of the plak tow has no control over their reason.  The ceremony was mercifully brief, and then we were led to the place of Seclusion.  I've always maintained that the Vulcans of old had a sick sense of humor – the rooms were claustrophobic and bleak – not a place one would want to spend intimate time together.  As for what happens in Seclusion – let's just say that it would have been more of a miracle if I hadn't emerged pregnant.    
  
Overall, what bothered me the most about pon farr was the inability to offer any comfort in those first hours.  There's no pleasure – no closeness, ironically – because a Vulcan male in the grip of the plak tow isn't interested in touch.  I know that doesn't make sense.  Let me just say that Sarek was blinded by the desire to relieve the incredible pressure exerted by the mating drive.  All thought is essentially burned away until only the most primitive of compulsions remain.  Of course I'd been told what to expect – I just didn't realize how much it would hurt to know that Sarek didn't see me as his wife at that moment.  I was merely a vessel – a balm to end his pain – and it was hard to ignore the animalistic simplicity of that fact.    
  
Another thing that troubled me was this – if someone had challenged our marriage and won, Sarek would be with them.  Why I had such ambivalent feelings didn't make sense to me.  I know my feelings for Sarek.  Oh, he'll argue until the end of time that he doesn't have feelings, but I know better.  Still, there's something about the challenge that implies worth.  Am I worthy to be where I am?  Would someone else be more suited?  Doubt – damnable doubt.  Is doubt still here?  How could it be when I'm waddling around like a duck carrying his child?  Is that what the ring is for?  To reassure me?  To let me know the truth – that he only wanted me?  
  
I feel like I'm about to cry – another hormone swing, I suppose.  I'll be back.  
  
Journal entry resumed  
  
I can't sleep.  Sarek has been so good about relieving some of the physical discomfort I've been enduring with neuropressure.  I'll wake him in a little while if I can't get comfortable.  He's so wonderful – why was I upset earlier?  I'm beginning to think that pregnancy is a form of insanity – or it's an endurance test.  In either case, I can't wait for it to be over.  I've heard women say that they miss being pregnant.  What do they miss?  The morning sickness?  The swelling?  The indigestion?  The loss of modesty?  I can't imagine being one of those women.  Maybe years from now I'll wax nostalgic.  Right now, I just want to be able to see my feet again.

  
Just as I predicted, Sarek told me essentially nothing this afternoon when I asked about the ring's meaning.  I've decided that my theory of reassurance is right.  It feels right to me, and sometimes intuition is all I have to go on.  The ring is to be worn after our son's birth as a reminder of what we've endured together – and, no doubt, what we'll endure in the future.  
  
Our son just kicked again.  Maybe that's his way of telling me the same thing.  I'd like to believe that he's reassuring me, too, and telling me that I'm right where I belong.  
  
  
THE END    


End file.
